Momentum

Posted on October 31, 2011 by Kai

We move through our lives at a constant pace. We can accelerate or decelerate ourselves with a limited amount of success, but the speed we do things at, at our base rate at least, is probably something we’ll never change. Some of us rush headlong into everything and batter through life as fast as we can, hungry for as many new experiences as we can pick up, and tired at the end of each day because we’ve packed in so much.

Others go as slow as possible, savoring every step, and realising, deep down, that they can’t do everything they might want to.

My problem is I want to savor everything, but I want it all. I have too many hobbies, and too little time on my books for new stuff. I book far too much into my life, mostly because I can. My laptop became both my freedom and my curse, because now, there’s a whole world of reading and writing out there, and I get nothing done.
Facebook is a horrible blessing. I can meet and hang out with so many wonderful people, and keep an eye on my friends, and there are some really cool games on there, but, lets face it, I’ve got a nasty habit of refreshing my page again and again, and then wondering, at 2pm, where my day went.

Worst of all, I’m a person that moves through life with a momentum that pulls others along behind me. And lately, I kinda feel like I’m out in the middle of a great big ocean, with no chance of finding the new land I was aiming for. But it feels like I’m stranding other people now and I don’t like that feeling.

Momentum is working out where you’re going and I think that’s the biggest thing for me right now. I need to work out which map I’m working from – someone else’s or my own. If I’m working from someone else’s, where can I adapt it so it’s all mine – or if I’m going to dive on in headlong and do it all myself, I need to work out where I want to go – there are *so many* choices right now.

What I do know is tomorrow begins my ninth Nanowrimo. I’m really looking forward to it. It gives me another month to work out and plan the roller coaster that is about to be my life. One way or another, things will start resolving and working out the way I want to.

Plans are coming soon, though. I’m happy to report there *is* a plan, but it’s difficult to see whether it’s the right choice right now. So I’m going to have a bit of fun with my writing for a bit, and see where that takes me. It’s too easy for me to lose sight of what I wanted to do when I started out online – which was writing. I’ve gone all over the web since, looking for something that’s ‘all me’ but what I am, underneath it all, is a writer.

It’s been over 20 years in coming….

Posted on November 21, 2010 by Kai

: Image via Wikipedia

I’m not really ready to *launch* the blog yet, as in, I’m not ready to start talking about everything that I need to, because I’m still getting a grip on the change in schedule that just, quite suddenly, dropped in my lap, but I wanted to intro myself, and say ‘hi there!’

So, most of you know who I am, but just in case, my name is D Kai Wilson. I write under several dozen names, though mostly it includes Kai and ‘Wilson’ or ‘Viola’. You can read more about the rationalle behind that on my ‘about – personal’ page later, but I’ve got a couple of entirely off the wall pen names.
8 years ago, I took part in a project called ‘The Nanowrimo‘ – and became an ML for them at the same time. Myself and a lovely lad called James ran that first year in Edinburgh, where I lived at the time, and it was a blast. And during that year, I wrote what became an obsession for me, that’s spawned a series of seven books directly and two spin off sets.

The building pictured to the right is Teviot House – a couple of the Nanoers were roleplayers, with a group called GEAS – John being one of them – who then introduced me to Gregor and others – from *there*, I went through some really interesting times – got really sick, and met the man I’m marrying. We’ve since moved 100′s of miles south and quite a bit west, but I’ve got some very fond memories of that time, and the books that started it all. Yeah, that’s right, Nanowrimo changed my life .

Eight years of edits, massive life changes, and seven other Nanowrimos later, and here we are. I have a contract (this really should be surrounded by flashing lights), and now, I get to talk about how this works. All of it.

‘Glass Block’ isn’t my first novel. it’s not my first book. I’ve been writing since I was 4 (I just turned 32), so this has, quite literally been over 20 years in the making. I’m so excited, but it’s not entirely unexpected. I know a lot of people compare it to winning the lottery, and it is, and yet it isn’t. There’s a lot more work for a start.

So, there’s going to be a couple of great things I hope to do with this – I want to talk about editing manuscripts, and working with an editor and publishing house through the whole process, writing more books. Y’know – the works.
I’m also hoping that we can get other authors roped into talking about stuff – and working through everything that we’ve got, going on and more.

But, for now, I’m just revelling in the glow of having my first contract. I’ll get to share more when it’s all settled – but for now, I’m just so goddammed excited!

Picking up where I left off and why the site has been quiet

Posted on October 23, 2010 by Kai

: Image by Writing On The Mall via Flickr

Ok, I know, I’m supposed to blog more than once a week, once a month, once in a blue moon, but it’s been kinda hectic lately. I’m still getting used to lots of things, but basically, since my last posting, I’ve sorted out my gap year funding for Uni, have handed in several essays to support my gap year, then even started back to my +1 year.

It’s been mad here – the youngest has changed schools – again – to a specialist unit. The eldest tried out for grammar school. My partner still loves his job, I founded an entirely new company, doing the same stuff (writing!), and for the first time in my life, came off incapacity benifit. I’ll probably talk more about that whole fun experience later (and I mean fun in the exciting sense, not the sarcastic )

Other than that – I’m still slowly expanding my library of ‘I wrote this, I really should share’. Slo-o-o-w-l-y, but faithful readers will know that this is the time of year that this changes.

Yep – it’s NANO time! Woooohoooo!

I’m so excited. So there should be more posts, from this blog and others about how cool things are going to get.
It’s good – great – to be back.

Picking up where I left off and why the site has been quiet

Free Chapter – Glass Block

Posted on April 9, 2010 by Kai

: Image via Wikipedia

And he’s the free chapter from Glass Block – let me know what you think, and whether you like it or not. Interested, not interested, I’d love to hear your views!

Glass Block free prologue

Glass Block Blurb

Sometimes games and reality shows just shouldn’t be revived – Elliot Peters, detective at Quadrant A, Downtown Darkness knows this best. When he’s plunged into a nightmare game show, he begins to realise that the religious element of the city might just be finally making their move and it’s a race against time to stop the release of a deadly virus that four of the prisoners had been carrying.

Available for Pre order July ’10.

Kai’s Nanowrimo 2009

Posted on December 1, 2009 by Kai

Final Wordcount (verified) 117,456.

Final (actual) wordcount – 122,200

Breakdown

Changes – 37,895
Values – 25,909
Glass Block – 44,200
Untitled new scifi (from no series I’ve ever talked about) – 14190

Image via Wikipedia

Those last 14,000 words were basically the rough outline of a project that I’m now building in my snowflake method software, because I’m finally at the point where this is my last ‘free’ day for several weeks. Not because I neglected anything else, but because I’m basically looking at needing to deal with several important projects over the next month or so. And then we have Yule/x-Mas, and Uni and a dozen other things to look at. It’s all very secret and hush hush, but one launches on the 6th – and you don’t need to go anywhere to keep up with the salient parts.

But that’s my Nanowrimo this year.

My experiences

The Nanowrimo this year was an odd experience. I enjoyed it, but instead of being happy, and working down with my happiness, and slowly whittling into that store of happiness to fuel the run. This year I started low and have ended up with a refilled well for my writing. It’s just a pity, right now, that I can’t work on the things that I’ve got planned. I’ve got plenty of editing and solid starts for some great books though. I hope everyone else’s Nano went well.

Where now?

This blog started talking about the Nanowrimo – but from here, it’s going to slowly start picking up everything I write, and talk about. I’m really looking forward to introducing everyone to the rest of my world Anyone got requests?

I wrote a Novel, now what?

Posted on December 1, 2009 by Kai

15446 187277182310 640687310 2785152 4967170 n I wrote a Novel, now what? There’s a page that shows up in about a day on the Nanowrimo, that says ‘I wrote a novel, now what’. I’d suggest checking that one out in conjunction with this one, because this is my personal process for the next 11 months.
In 10 months time, I start planning my next Nanowrimo – I’ll have graduated and will hopefully either be in a position to write full time, or write part time, work out of the house part time, or possibly working full time, back to writing as a hobby. I’m not entirely sure what the next ten months hold for me, but I do know that in March, I’m editing my three Nanowrimo novels from this year.
And in July, I’m doing something special. It’s actually a year round project, but is specifically geared up to be ‘done’ along with other people in July. So, I’m delighted to announce that on January 1st, we launch the National Novel Query month site! We’ll be running in July, with year round posts, tips, tricks, prep work. So, we hope you’ll join us.

the writer and the story can be separate – NanoWrimo day 18

Posted on November 18, 2009 by Kai

Image by Cayusa via Flickr

I has a migraine, so, instead of being all wise, and clever and down to earth about the fact that I’m now at 55k (WOOOOO!), I thought I’d talk about something thats bothering me for about a dozen reasons right now.

I’m writing three books – two are brand spanking new, as in I’ve only been talking about them or thinking about them, or even contemplating them for about two months, and one, Elliot’s, is a recurring rewrite. I might talk about them later too. Anyway, the two that are brand new are…troublesome in ways I never thought I’d get down in words till I thought about it this morning.

They’re bothering me because in some ways they’re very close to the ‘bone’ for me – either because of the mental health aspect in Change, or because of the concept that the story is reflecting what’s going on in my life (Values). While both are true, at the same time, neither are true.

Values specifically is about a young married couple who, for whatever reason, don’t have kids – the ‘she’ in the story is unsettled and vaguely concerned by it, while he’s not bothered at all. And the more she pushes, the more he resists. It’s true, the story *started* out life because of a conversation my fiancee and I had and evolved from there, but it’s not the be all and end all of the story. I’ve started with our situation and played a very skewed ‘what if’ game along the lines of the entire story.

Change is a sci fi time travel story. The lead narrator so far is a schizophrenic, who has a very comfortable and intimate relationship with her ‘other self’ in parts of the novel, and is very distant and aloof in other parts – it’s all told from the perspective specifically of the woman that travelled back in time, so at points there really *are* two of them. It’s boundary challenging and touches on a couple of key stones of mental health that I think tend to be overlooked – that some of us are comfortable in our own skins, even if those skins are bags for something entirely flawed and odd based on conventional norms.

The thing is though, I’m neither schisophrenic or in a relationship as extreme as the one I’m writing about in Values – I’m not a time traveller, and I don’t go around shooting perverts in the unmentionable places that my characters may. I’m not a cop, and I don’t live in a city quite as warped as Darkness. What I am is highly imaginative, and intelligent. I can project the concepts into the ether and build something out of them. I can let my brain run loose and have a look at where that takes me. I know freedom and self interest intimately and can be very different in my expression of either of them.

Some people say that when an actor takes on a certain role, it’s hard for them – that it can pull them down and destroy them. I think sometimes it’s the same for writers – not as often as actors, but sometimes we play a role, we assume a persona, and we write. It pours out of us, flood and trickle, and we bleed it – the persona – dry. And then, if we’re lucky, we can remove most of it – because in writing from another perspective, we may have learned a couple of things, so we may never be entirely free. Other times it might cling for a bit, but we’re always – ALWAYS free to go back to ourselves, and should always be free to do so – and should never be held accountable for the ideology of our characters.

It’s not an argument about free speech though – we aren’t entitled to hurt others deliberately under the guise of ‘character’ and to be honest, if it’s odious enough, warped enough, or revolting enough to make you hesitate (which, I believe sometimes goes beyond ‘transgression’ and on into ‘bad taste’) then you should seriously consider whether you want to share it. In an ideal world there would only be that reason, but unfortunately, this isn’t an ideal world.

I guess what I’m saying is it’s ok to be a writer – it’s ok to take on these guises and explore your character – what’s not, possibly, ok is to believe that you are responsible in the real world for what those characters do, unless you actually do it.

the writer and the story can be separate NanoWrimo day 18

Your Wildest dreams – Nanowrimo day 17

Posted on November 17, 2009 by Kai

Image by Maia C via Flickr

(this is a slightly different type of post – I’ve not started in on my NanoWrimo work yet)

One of the biggies about the NanoWrimo is in most cases, it encourages people that aren’t writers to take time out and write. For writers it’s a bit of a different proposition – sometimes it’s a kick up the butt to finish a story, sometimes it’s about taking time out from a carreer that may not entirely ‘fulfil’ your writing needs. Kinda like eating fruit and nuts all week, and then splurging on chocolate once a week – or never drinking unless it’s a special occassion.

There’s a problem with the Nano though. I’m still not *at* this point in my life, and I know of writers that are, that are still doing the NanoWrimo, but I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it when I’m actually published. Others ARE doing it, but I’m not sure that when I get to the point that my books are out there, that I can actually let go of promoting and showing off for long enough to actually write another novel in a month. It’s a dumb worry, just like being ‘worried about’ fame, and about one of the other myriad of my neuroses, and until I get there, I’ll never know, but I’m thinking about how I’ve adapted my working schedule right now, to fit the NanoWrimo in – and I thought I’d share a couple of them.

How to take a month off

You are, basically, taking a month off to write, after all, so there’s a couple of simple ways to clear your boards, at least in part.

1) Tivo (or Sky+box or similar) anything you are interested in watching over that month. You can catch up when you’re feeling uninspired, or can’t concentrate as well as you’d like to. These recordings can also be used as a reward If you’re not lucky enough to have access to a Tivo, or similar, plan carefully what you’d like to watch, and make sure that you’re able to write while watching or move something else to make that time. You should treat your TV plans as you would your writing at any other time of the year.

2) If you work from home, see if you can increase your income for a couple of months before, or conduct your business more frugally – the goal here is not only to be able to ‘afford’ to take time out financially, but to clear some time to allow you to write. It’s important however, to note that you should make sure that your *work* comes first.
If you work outside of your home, you can’t really cut back your time, but you can spend time writing, if you choose, during your lunch hour.

I’ve also cut back on any social events outside of the house, replacing them with my NanoWrimo coffee meets – which has freed up a lot of time.

How have you cleaned up your calendar to make space for the Nano?

NanoWrimo day 15&16 – looking at the selfish aspect

Posted on November 16, 2009 by Kai

Image by mpclemens via Flickr

One of the biggies that I keep hearing from the people I ML from, especially in private, about how to cope with the whole ‘selfish’ aspect of the Nanowrimo.
It got me thinking about how writers are perceived, and how we perceive ourselves, and how that, in turn impacts on how we present ourselves.

The Nanowrimo is about being brazen about your writing – to say ‘to hell with it, TV repeats, I’ve only got NOW to write’. People, who aren’t in the habit of writing daily, learn to apply thier butt to the seat. Those who work and can’t write, but dream of it , get access to a chance to spend the time writing.

And then there’s people like me. I write for no reason other than I can. I’d love to make money from it, and have tried in various ways, but it’s something, I think, that I’ve held back from because of a fear of success. And people might laugh, because it’s a silly fear in some ways, and though I will quite happily lay my soul bare in public, and I am a very public person, but public in my own, controlled way.

There’s a slightly selfish aspect of the NanoWrimo though – that comes up in conversation several times a week in IM and other places. Selfish isn’t the right word though – and there’s a myriad of the them that come up, selfish, indulgent, spoiling myself, needing family support, taking family time. It’s not actually the accurate terminology though. We are doing it for ourselves, but there’s nothing to say that it’s inherently ‘selfish’. It’s self oriented, but that doesn’t make it selfish.

The thing about writing is that it’s *usually* a lone process. Lots of other people *are* of course writing when you are, but the NanoWrimo harnesses everything and puts us all in the same place and going through the same process. Still not selfish. It’s not selfish because that thought is what keeps us from actually accepting that we can write, and still be a good parent, and keep up with freinds and everything else we do. We’re not super-people, but writing *can* come higher on our priority lists, without being a bad thing. And I think that the NanoWrimo kinda highlights that.

Tomorrow, I’m going to talk about how to balance losing a 12th of your working year without feeling selfish – and what to do if your wildest dreams come true.

Wordcount update – 41k approx!

NanoWrimo day 15&16 looking at the selfish aspect

Elliot came out to play – Nano day 14

Posted on November 14, 2009 by Kai

Image by maistora via Flickr

On Sunday, while I was in the coffee-shop at one of our ‘during the day’ meets, Elliot, a character from one of my big novel serials, Darkness, decided that enough was enough – if I was having a crisis of confidence about the rest of my writing, that he’d fill in the gaps. That was on the 8th, and in the last almost week (with a day off for my birthday on Thursday) and I’ve written 20k. Being fair, Glass Block, the book that started it all, was originally written in 2003 (which means, technically, I’m cheating). I’m quite happily writing away now.

There’s a big announcement coming in the next few weeks too – so watch this space

Still no movement – Nanowrimo day 10

Posted on November 6, 2009 by Kai

Image by Ravages via Flickr

I know, no updates - mainly because I spent the last few days questioning whether I even wanted to be writing any more and caring for my partner, who is sick. And I don’t mean manflu sick, I mean genuinely, didn’t even get up to go to work SICK.

Spent yesterday and today in our virtual write-in chatrooms, supporting other Nanoers and encouraging people to write as best I could, while simultaniously failing my inspiration check. I’ve hit the dreaded brick wall of ‘I’m writing this under my soon to be married name, andthis doesn’t cast a good light on any relationship that is being written about in any way shape or form’. And I know the people that know me *know, instinctively* that my partner and I are the best thing to have ever happened to one another on some levels (or at least, he’s the best thing to happen to me), there are people out there that do little more than question, and insinuate. And writing about a couple that’s looking for every excuse to get pregnant (on her side) and every excuse not to (on his side) may hit a bit closer to home than some of these people may like, and that makes it harder for me to write anything.

I’ve always been way more into worrying about what people think, though I do also tell people that the story and the writer *can be* completely separate. So there’s a post coming on that when I get more than a couple of seconds to breathe.

Nano Day 4 – meets, greets, beats

Posted on November 4, 2009 by Kai

Image via Wikipedia

This morning was our first ‘all day coffee meet’ for the Nanowrimo – I met up with a group of my fellow regional participants and hung out. It was a good turn out – and I talked plot and wrote and drank way more coffee than I should have and worked through lots of ‘problems’ in my head with my story.

One of the most important things about the Nanowrimo ML meets is that ML’s have to present themselves as up beat, positive and are always ‘on’ for the whole of the Nanowrimo. And I’ve been told that people find that very disconcerting – even when we talk publically about struggling with our writing (which is a first for me this year), apparently, I’m a very scary woman to finally meet. So I like to run meets, and make sure that people get the best out of introducing themselves to one another – and so they can see I’m just a regular person myself.

The coffee meet went well, which was great – the biggest problem I have right now is my other half is sick and we’re sorting out a huge thing for our family, so my mind isn’t entirely on the Nanowrimo, and while it’s true that I’m using most of the Nano work for my Uni hand-ins this year, I’m not entirely certain that I’m going to juggle everything effectively at this rate. Tomorrow I’m taking the morning off the Nanowrimo to do my ‘weapon’s carrying’ paper for Psychology.

Nano day 3 – no work for the wicked

Posted on November 3, 2009 by Kai

I didn’t get to Nano today – a client decided to move the goalposts on a contract that has dragged on so long now I can’t even remember why I took it. So instead of slipping easily into the mind of a woman that can’t stand her life, I instead wrote articles on poker.

Nano day 2 – procrastinate

Posted on November 2, 2009 by Kai

Image via Wikipedia

I procrastinated to death today.
I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom – to let my stories flex and write them in my head today. I can’t work out why, but despite feeling I was ready and desperate to write, the last day or two has been like pulling teeth. The voices still haven’t quite settled into what they want – and forcing them into translation is impossible.

I understand the theory of it – there’s no way to impose a linguistic structure on anything with any expectation of authenticity, if it isn’t the right structure – you can’t use words that don’t fit with the contextual or thought patterns of the character – and I think that would break a story far worse than a contrived plot, or unbelievable set of circumstances.

Though, you could also argue that a book is simply the reenactment of a story, and actors adopt different linguistic and positional structures all the time, so on the flip side, a linguistically altered book may hold more true than one that’s entirely, and accurately authentic to the underlying concept.

And why yes, I’m still dodging the writing

Nanowrimo day 2 Word Count – 1355 – pitiful, and only some added to Values.

Today’s random elements (day 2, Nanowrimo)

Posted on November 2, 2009 by Kai

Image by Indy Kethdy via Flickr

Random elements is something I’m going to try and include in every novel this year round, within reason. I’m not going to have pink rabbits romping through a scene with Elliot for a start, but I think, given I’m interested in symbolism and Linguistics, that this is a good challenge.
If you think about it – what’s the hardest thing to include in a story – something that patently shouldn’t be there – so the only way to blend that away is to find a way to include the element contextually. Why yes, I do feel very self concious saying stupid things, thanks for asking
I’ve had:

Audience (From Molly S) – A freak Snowstorm in July(from JC), and from my beloved I got – A datacentre on fire/A penguin from Edinburgh Zoo.

Nano Day 1 -no’so’good

Posted on November 1, 2009 by Kai

: Image by Bright Meadow via Flickr

I’ve never had quite such a….slow start to the Nanowrimo before. It’s not that I don’t know what I want to write – it’s more that I know this year I’m going to be writing myself into the stories – Change and Values are both, inherently, a narrator telling a story.

Except Values seems to be (so far) tainted narration – the woman knows what she wants to say, but she’s tempering it based on what her partner has said to her/is saying to her/wants to say to her. She’s telling it from an odd perspective too – not quite at the end, but already jumping to conclusions. I can’t ignore her – but at the same time, I wanted to do Change first, and set ‘one’ of the scenes.

So all I’m hearing from the narrator in ‘Values‘ is apologies for her partner’s attitude and beliefs, overlayed with her opinions, and her wants – her needs. Most of all, she’s desperate.

Change on the other hand, is dreamy, soft, sleepy.

Final wordcount for today (because I’ll always do the official round up at 11pm even if I’m writing after, for simplicity sake) – 1306.

I’d also love it if someone (or someones) could suggest something random to include in my story. I’ve x-posted this to facebook, and twitter Just share it in the comments and I’ll let you know tomorrow which I picked.

Nanowrimo day 0 (midnight 1st November)

Posted on October 31, 2009 by Kai

Image by mpclemens via Flickr

I’m so excited right now that I can’t sit still – I don’t usually get to start till around 1am on the 1st anyway, because I take care of all the last minute support, cheering and shoving that gets my region into full swing – from the people having cold feet, to those with writer’s cramp, I’m the voice that hopefully talks them into going from it anyway.

I don’t get talked into it myself though – which is why this year, I’m doing my level best to be actually accountable.
And here it is.

First book is my alt-sci fi Dissertation (at least part of it will be), Change.

I’ll get to start in 7 minutes…woot!

Insanity is contagious, Mk x

Funding my writing habit since 2004

Category Archives: Nanowrimo

Momentum

It’s been over 20 years in coming….

Picking up where I left off and why the site has been quiet

Free Chapter – Glass Block

Kai’s Nanowrimo 2009

I wrote a Novel, now what?

the writer and the story can be separate – NanoWrimo day 18

Your Wildest dreams – Nanowrimo day 17

NanoWrimo day 15&16 – looking at the selfish aspect

Elliot came out to play – Nano day 14

Still no movement – Nanowrimo day 10

Nano Day 4 – meets, greets, beats

Nano day 3 – no work for the wicked

Nano day 2 – procrastinate

Today’s random elements (day 2, Nanowrimo)

Nano Day 1 -no’so’good

Nanowrimo day 0 (midnight 1st November)